Beyond 'The Girl With Cancer'

Everyone has an identifier. Sometimes it’s a physical trait; the blonde one, the tall one, the one with glasses.

Other times it’s a personality trait; the one who is always happy, the moody guy, the overly excited girl.

And if it isn’t one of those, it was something about their habits; the person who is always reading, the one who can’t make eye contact, the one who can drink a whole bottle of wine in 2 minutes.

Up until I was 13, my identifier was always the girl with the really long hair! You said that and people knew who you were talking about. It was hard to miss. Just look at this photo... I was half hair!

After 2009 though and my diagnosis, I rapidly became the girl with cancer. The whispers, the gossips, in a school of 300... There wasn’t another girl with cancer. It was an easy identifier.

Eventually it changed again... The one with crutches, after all, I had crutches for a whole year. It was fairly obvious who they were talking about. I never had a problem with this though. It was unique, I wore my diagnosis like a badge. I wasn’t into self pity, I turned it into a positive thing. I was different. Go me!

As the years rolled on though, I didn’t want to be just the girl with cancer... I’d had enough of that. The novelty had worn off if I’m completely honest with you. There’s only so many people you can pull the cancer card on and still elicit a humoring reaction out of. But you don’t get to chose your identifier... So it stuck around.

10 years later though, I like to think my identifier has changed. Finally!

When people are introducing me to their friends, or telling their families about me, it is no longer, “This is Maddy, the one with cancer, remember the one I told you about?" Or simply, "Hey this is Maddy, she has cancer!”

Thanks... Just what this complete stranger needed to know. Trust me, that was always a very awkward introduction. People don’t like being put on the spot or caught off guard and that was a sure fire way to do just that... I’m sure I subconsciously made people uncomfortable around me because they didn’t know how else to react to me… but ANYHOW… that’s a whole other story.

Now, when someone introduces me, it goes more like: "This is Maddy, she’s been to like 40 countries!" Or, "This is Maddy, she spends more time overseas than at home!"

At first I thought it was just a once off. My family members or close friends would introduce me like this. But more and more people are using this to introduce me. Even my Oncologist! Though I feel like he says that in a more reprimanding way.. a silent caution to make sure I hold my health to the same importance as my travels. Sorry doc, I am trying! (Trying to leave this country as much as possible haha) No I’m kidding… Sort of. If I can’t travel at this stage of my cancer journey, it’ll never happen.. I just need to find the balance between risk and reward.

Another person who uses travel as my identifier, is my boss. He loves to tell people that I’m only here in Australia on a work visa. “This is Maddy, she works here sometimes, she’s here on a work visa!” I get the weirdest looks from the patients he says this to! But he really isn’t wrong… Last year I spent 6 months at work, 6 months overseas. I’m not exactly the typical full-time employee. However, I’m thankful that I have a boss who accepts that about me. A boss that lets me come and go, spread my wings and come back as a better employee. Or at least the same employee, but more relaxed and with better stories! I really do appreciate it!

It’s funny how time can change things though. Somewhere along the road, I shed the cancer identifier. I went from the girl people feel sorry or cautious about and transformed into a confident, globetrotting young adult. For the first time in a decade, people are stunned into silence when introduced, not because I have cancer and no one knows how to respond to that.. but instead because I’m 23 and have travelled to 52 countries in 5 years.

The negative connotations are gone. People no longer feel automatically sorry for me and they no longer try to leave the conversation as quickly as they came in. I can start new interactions on the right foot! (Not my left, dodgy hip and all..) I’m now on an even playing field and I love it! I have cancer… but I’m not cancer.

My name is Maddison, I have a page called the Titanium Traveller and I’m gladly now known as the one who travels, A LOT… with a side of cancer.